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First, I have to say, I literally laugh EVERY single time I see Lloyd Bridges in this shot from Airplane. I try to imagine if he was upside down when they took the pic, or if it was hair gel “gone wild” If you missed the movie, the line was “I picked a BAD day to stop sniffing glue!” The other great line was from Beavers mother, translating jive on the plane. If this is the case, you probably don’t hold up Animal House, Caddyshack and Slap Shot as the greatest artistic movies of all time – your loss! This is further proof that my IQ never reached 85
The human race is somewhat like a pride of lions. Over many years I have watched the sexes perform in every conceivable job. Male lions with their intimidating manes and swinging genitalia don’t do a lot of work, but they look good, and serve a purpose only they can perform. Lionesses perform most of the work day in and day out.
Men have an uncanny ability to focus a tremendous amount of energy for short bursts. This is likely the reason I like lifting very heavy weights. I get bored on the treadmill, and there seems to be no purpose to lifting “light” weights,
When a trainer asked why I liked lifting weights, I responded immediately, that I loved the response my body showed to lifting impossibly heavy weights. I enjoyed being a man!
Women on the other hand, have this endurance thing going. This has hit me over the head like a sledgehammer over the last seven weeks. Over most of my life, I usually enjoyed working with women just a little bit more.
I watched, over many hours, weeks and years as Teri, Kirsten, April, Jen, Becky, Michele, Sandy, Erin, Robin and many others worked for a solid 40 hours, then went home and took care of their family. (Valley Girl voice – OMG! I forgot Yvonne in the original post.And while I’m at it thanks to any women who were awesome who’s (whose) name begins with the letter A-Z) I’m at the club walking down to the lockers and it hits me, YVONNE!! SORRY GIRL!)
Me and the guys would gather around, laughing and joking, fluffing our manes, swinging our genitalia in bravado and boasting only and working intensely for 20 hours per week. Day in and day out, the steady contributions by the women in the office were crucial to companies’ and families’ succeeding. They didn’t join in the reverie, and I noticed and loved them for it.
So, now that I’m a single parent, It’s apparent that Teri was the glue holding the family together. Some days, it seems like everything is in a centrifuge ready to fly apart into a million pieces.
I think of the movie “Three Men and a Baby” a movie with Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and Steve Gutenberg. I got home tonight, the house was a mess, dishes not done, the dinner I started at 8 this morning not finished, and think the title should be “Three Men & They Are All Babies”. Now, it’s not fair to judge the kids at this point. They are going through something they shouldn’t have to go through until after they are married, have kids, an impossibly high mortgage, gout, shingles and at least one midlife crisis, where they get fitted for hairpieces, try to start a rockband at 40 yrs old or get a Harley Davidson, so most of this is on me.
So, lets wrap this up. I’m putting dishes in the dishwasher, grumbling while cleaning and all I can think of is Plywood. Yes, Plywood. Men are like hardwood. Strong and brittle, like the I-35 Bridge made of iron, but having stress cracks all over that we as men aren’t going to admit to, or do anything about until the whole thing comes crashing down, killing innocent bystanders! Women, like Teri and others are the GLUE in the plywood. It’s like real life. Only “wood” is in the name plywood, nobody would buy Glue Wood, right? Weaker than wood, good women are just pliable and adaptive enough to hold the plywood together. Nothing flashy, hidden underneath the wood, even turning invisible once the finished product is formed under tremendous pressure, holding EVERYTHING together. Holding everything together 24/7. Men are great, but right this minute, personally, I PREFER GLUE!