1.Teri had a mexican roommate at UMD named Laura. Teri only remembered one spanish word that Laura taught her, a word we laughed about every year or so. The word was “Ombligo”
2. Teri and I could never figure out why there was always half a dozen socks, with only one sock coming out of the dryer. I thought she was playing tricks on me, that rascal!
3. Now that I’m a very poor housekeeper, or Very Poor AND a housekeeper, I have scientifically determined the physics of the lost sock. — Well, first, I have to thank Alice, because none of this would’ve been discovered unless she was over one day tying to save the boys from fire or smoke inhalation. She unplugged something called a “lint trap” with a gas powered blower and an ice pick.
Lint Trap? I hadn’t thought about that term in ages. See, the joke was that my belly button was a lint trap. I weighed around 260 for years and then it wasnt so much a trap as a lint black hole from which nothing, even light could escape! As a matter of fact, the only word Teri ever learned in spanish, Ombligo? Means Belly Button or in Teri speak lint trap, so it got me to thinking, Teri — Ombligo — lint trap — sock — missing — one of life’s great mysteries??
Here’s where it gets strange(really Steve, you think it just starts to get strange?) I kept lint from each load of laundry in an envelope and waited until the lint equalled one sock. The amazing thing, is that lint equals one half of one sock per load! (I honestly have an envelope with lint ON my dryer, but at least it’s out of the ombligo, I mean lint trap.
Brilliant I thought, until I realized that in every other load, there had to be a half of a sock eaten away and I don’t remember ever seeing one of those.
But as Sherlock Holmes said, “When you have eliminated all of the other possibilities, the remaining possibility, no matter how improbable MUST BE the answer” So using his logic, I can now state with absolute certainty that what happens is that the dryer chooses one sock randomly every other load for termination and only lets out half the lint each load to hide the evidence! Voila, or if you’re from New Orleans, BAM! CASE CLOSED!